Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
