my room smells like sperm. sweet.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
