Where did you get a picture of my penis
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the day after is always just damage control
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
