The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
