Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
