Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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