It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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