I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
