butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
