Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
