Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize