Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
