I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If that was your dad, he is hot
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sarcasm needs its own font
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
