Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
