yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
