I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Welp...herpes.
time to smoke my breakfast
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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