new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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