So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
