Cold hands, warm shart.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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