If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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