She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
