I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
