dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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