Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would ride that face into the sunset
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
