I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
