she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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