.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
