What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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