Me too!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there's paper in my vomit.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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