That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
