Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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