Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
