we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
