My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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