then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
