Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
