I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
