I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
