I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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