whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
