Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
