Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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