Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
