I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
