yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
