I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm really busy with my period
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