I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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