I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
