I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
