how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize