my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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