I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
