Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
