True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
