have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
