Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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