i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
