i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
