What a fucking waste of an outfit
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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