shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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