yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
