he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
