sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
