Where is the hickey?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
