Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
